I AM HIT ON THE HEAD

HI BLOGYI I am really not so fine today I guess the last two days were just a dream but really a long one this dream even it was a good long one but it’s really hurting me inside a deep pain really squeezing me from the inside very hardly really with no mercy at all why is that?????????? Why do I really have to be a victim all the time why????? Why can't I be just a guilty person????Why???? Why am I so pathetic???? Why do I used to be treated very ugly???the most well known truth is that I am the mistaken person I am the only one who had to be blamed upon it I know that I am unstable person with a lot of issues inside myself so please myself stop dealing with people you really have to stop it stop dealing I most be really alone by myself I most have to cause I am really am done of people so please stop it stopppppppppp I am fed up really can't take it anymore I am too complicated to enter any kind of relations any kind even friendship you really know what I really need very much I need to be very far very far away by myself but the only problem is that I don’t have a place to go to I am really a person with no place to go don’t know where do I have to go and walk in the streets with no place to go to or with no one to speak to that’s so strange even I don’t know I guess I just belong to the mental house or a mad house to live in or to really stay in with all mad people around I guess these mad people is much better than the circus we are living in I feel that I am a just a clown this clown had to put a lot of make on this make up is the only way to make people really except me and deal with me as if I am really a natural one so I guess I most be really in that custom and this make up to deal with people in this circus around as if it’s my way of dealing with this world so I think the mad people I don’t really need to do so to deal with them cause they don’t differentiate between the two cases at all they don’t know me at all or judge me at all so really living among them will be better and more secure then all of that anyway it’s my choice to take I can’t enter there with my free well its really ok I guess I love to tell myself so but it’s really not ok at all but what shall I do its really my faith thanks god