THE THINGS I HAD REALLY DREAMED ABOUT MAKING THEM

Hi blogyi sorry I know that I were away for two days so I know that you really missed meI missed you too you know that blogyi really I wanted very much that I would have be traveled awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to be alone in some place with no and with me I love to be alone very much so I really wished that and also I wished very much to have a lot of friends a lot of sincere friends to have them in my hard times so that I really wanted that very much also I wished to have a decent person kind so respectable very calm romantic very nice person I wished to adore him and to be adored by him I really wished that very much I wished to live by the sea in front of the sea so when h open the window I will be really in front of the sea or in the middle of it I really adore the sea although I love saif very much but really I wished that I were never had him he really like a broken pipe in my life made everything messy cause I really had him I think my life would be really easier if I really don't have him and also he would have been better if he really had a stable mother balanced one really emotional and sicological one I think he would had been more happy more stable more secure then being really my son I know that i am really a complected person very much I know that I am really am so it was really better that he had another mother and I don't have any kids at all but I guess its faith and also naseeb so anyway i wished that i had a nice job which i really like cause i really love to work very much i hate staying at home i feels as i really suffocated but really and have a house of my own not very big one cause I don't have a lot of needs I am a person with little needs so anyway so that concerning work and house and friends and my beloved i hope so much to feel freeeeeeeeeee in every thing to be mai in everything to have my own life my own share of happiness cause I am really done of bad moods and also I am very done from being fucked from people all around done from being ideal in a world really disrespect the idealism so really i am done of being perfectionest i am done from trying satisfaying people from thinking of others while no one really think of me i am done of being at the end of the list I really want for only one to be on the top for change may be I am a bad person but really I am done from putting others in the top of me really done I really love to pleased by anyone I love that for change love to be cared about to feels loved to feels wanted to be someone with a lot of care and warmth and love to be really happy i missed to be happy person with a really nice smile on my face and inside my heart too I wish that my heart be happy too i wished very much really I sometimes feels relieve very much to someone but really this feeling really finishes sooooooooooo fast a day or two and I find myself really pushing him away very far from me you know why cause i have now a Fair from relations and from persons I think it really became I sikic problem know I really really wish to be hugged for the rest of my life and be so close to someone really acre not close as sex not that so close to feel secured cause I had a lack of secuar in my life I need to stop being afraid of tomorrow but I guess I am afraid to much cause of the loneliness feeling so and way that's really the things I wished I had do in my life but I really couldn't done it don't know if I really will be able to but anyway I don't know if I really can or not