MIXING WITH A BROKEN HEART OR NOT MIXING WITH DSISAPPOINTING AND DESPERE

I really don't know why is it so strange that you feel that you are really a complete stranger, don't know why its so difficult to mangle and mix with others, it is really strange ,and if that rarely thing happens, you feels that it's not true, it is just some kind of a dream, its really a strange feeling that you feels that it is not a real thing it is just a fick ,and I wonder why do we really felt it?so I guess we feels strange in both cases, if you really mix with someone and came nearer and nearer, but I guess when this happens you are really putting one leg in front and the other behind, so as you don't get nearer and nearer, so I guess its not cause you are just a cowered, but its really cause you are some kind of afraid, afraid to get attached to someone really doesn't appreciate you, or your care, as if he is really some kind of a stone you are really try to make this damed stone talk to you, and feel you deep deep inside how come you are really convinced that you can make such a thing , that is the dumb itself you are trying to to do , believe me , are you really convinced that you can do that and if you are really convinced with it , means you are really over estimating yourself and giving yourself more then you really deserve or you are just a dumb person who cant really think in a straight way what so ever , so I guess that is really wrong, I guess you must really evaluate yourself in a right way, that what I really think you must really try to that with your own hands really try to know yourself better, and really try to be sure of your capiplities to evaluate yourself in a right way, and to put yourself in its her right poison inside the frame ,that really fits her, I know that its really easy to say and very hard to do, but really I know that must happens in order to deal with yourself in a proper way, and to really put her in the right poison which really suits her ,so I know that will be really right thing to begin with ,when you deal with yourself in a very proper way that will be the right way to deal with people, cause you really don't have hight self steam and you really know what really you can do, and what you really cant do ,what so ever ,you are not a magician you' re a person dealing with others, you really cant change other to deal with you, but you can really fix yourself to deal with others, even it will be really hard but its really possible but changing others is really some kind of craziness, that will happens when you really can mix with others , when you cant you will feels that you are really different from the whole world, as if you are created from other mud, not the same kind of them, its really strange that you feels that you are with others as oil and vinger just cant mix, even with hard tries and with million times of trying, you really fails with a lot of disappointing and a lot of desperation from yourself and with a lot of self pity toward yourself ,so I don't know what is really better mix with a broken heart or don't mix with disappointing and despere