A CUP OF TEA

I know one thing very much that I really under estimated the value of my cup of tea,I really own you a great apology cause it's really very important in order to wake up in a proper way, that what I really think very important in order to wake up active and don't take that much time in order to walk up and in order to hear anything happening around you and in order to see your computer screen and in order to deal with others around to communicate with others without the chock of being sleepy and very lazy indeed, I know that one cup of tea is not a problem that if it's really one, I in the normal situation far away from Ramadan and fasting when I open my eyes before washing my teeth and face, I put the boiler on in order to make the magical glass of tea that really is like a glass in front of my own eyes in order to see well and in order to be prepared to deal with others from silly dam people that surrounds us every day in every where, we go through ,I think that is something we really have to get used to it as we could, cause they are really increasing everyday and also everywhere at home at work in the streets in all places around but what shall we do ?we really have to be that patient in order to deal and in order to be that calm and order to deal with others, I am really surrounded with a whole group of them specially at work, I don't know the problem in the people around or in myself as mai, I think I am not that bad or I am not an awful person in deed, I am a normal one with bad luck that is me that what I really think of myself but as I told you before I am not that social, I can't really mix with others that easily, I have many colleagues but really they are dam and stupid too but really I am not that good in dealing with them, they are surrounding me from all directions, I can't run from them and also I can't hide, tell me what would you do if you were in my place??????????????

BOILED AND MIXED INTO PIECES

Good morning all , well I am very tired and sleepy too,don't know all of this laziness from where, I only know one thing,don't know all the night long I dreamed around thousands of bad dreams ,some dreams from my childhood others from my teenage, I don't know what is really happening in my head and brain, I think my brain is very much boiled and after that was put in a mixer in order to be cut into little pieces, well I really wake up everyday as if I was in a war not sleeping in my own bed, as if I was really beaten up to death every single bone in my whole body is really in pain without knowing the reason what behind all of that , well I know that most of the people are in vacation now because of Ramadan and because of the bad weather we are dealing with in Egypt nowadays,but really its a very bad harsh period for us all,that is the reason why when we are in the streets in the early morning it's really empty as if we are in a desert or we are in the middle of nowhere, it was really very strange in the beginning then I really got used to it very much indeed,so really god help us in that all ,what I really want to say that its very difficult to wake up lazy and in pain and also as if someone hit you on the head with a hammer and not any hammer, it is a heavy one ,leaving you in between living and dead, that is what I exactly my feeling this morning and every morning,wake up in chock where does the energy and power goes, I really don't know where, I hope really I would found them cause I am really in a greet need of them in order to wake up in aright way and could really do my job, that what I hope to find in the few days coming along pray for me gays and really searching very hard wish to find them soon,in order to be in shape and in order to feel as if i am really alive not in between you know what I will dig more and more deeper tell i really found it ISA.

MAY I HAVE MY DOLLS BACK PLEASE

You know what my funniest days was as a kid, I used to play and smile a lot,I can't really ignore that, I used to play by myself alone as usual, I was very lonely person indeed, I used to play alone talk a little, really don't know the reason why? I guess I am not that social but I know that I was really happy ,with my toys with my life with my loneliness too,am I that weird ,really I am kind of quiet person I love to hear a lot more then talk, and I can't get used to people fast,I take a lot of time to mix and mingle with others, don't know why but it's really an action I took it very slow since I was just a kid, my mum told me that she used to take me to the nursery and she used to made me sit on a chair when she leaves and when is back she used to find me in the same chair as if she just left me 5 minutes ago not 9 long hours, I really find that very strange but I also got used to all of that, I loved my dolls my toys and I loved to took care of them a lot, and I have a very strange attitude as a kid, I used to keep them for long time I didn't break them or destroy them as all kids do, but also I found that a little bit strange too, any way that was the happiest moments in my whole life would you please give me my dolls back.

MY SON'S DREAMMMMMMMMMMMM

RAMADAN KAREEM

Well all I know it is a little bit late,but really happy Ramadan to you all,really it is very harsh Ramadan indeed the weather is really awful, it had been very hot since it began but really god be with us, it is really very comic picture while we all are going back home from work if you really concentrated you will find that people are really like dead man's walking on foot they are very sweaty and they are very untidy and they are looking very lousy, they are really very tired walking as if they are dead 2 or 3 days ago, but really I cant blame them, they are and I am with them feels as if they will die from thirst and from lack of food, really I wasn't expecting that Ramadan will be that harsh, beside that everything really became double it's price, its really an ironic thing to happen with that weather, what will people do toward that hot weather beside increasing of the price of everything, very odd indeed what is really happening now, I really don't know whats wrong with everything but every year is really worse then the year before, don't know the reason of that, but its really happens every year, god with us all in all of that, it is really something weird to happen to us among all of that , fasting and hot weather god help ussssssssssssssssssss all.

AS AYMAN SAYS

Like th fire ....But feel so cold

Like a child ...But feel so old

Buy evrything...but my soul to be sold

With a smile like silver

a touch like gold

...like nobody

Like everybody

like a word in apoetry

In a battle like sword

Like a flying stone waiting to hit the ground anytime.

I can write like the sun after long dark night

Like the moon after sunset and no stars

like rivers , seas and oceans

Like nice soft smile

like tears

I can write like sword

and like kind hand

like a dream

like the very deep truth

you can It is only for you

DO I DARE TO ASK WHY?

Everything around is as a vacuum do I dare to ask why ? Everything is dark as a night without a moon ,Do I dare to ask why ? Everything is just moving very fast as circle which has no beginning and have no end,Do I dare to ask why? Every time I put my feet on the ground I just realize its soft as sand dawning as cold deep water, Do I dare to ask why?Every time I look in front I found myself looking back,Do I dare to ask why? Every time I see the future I found myself living in the past ,Do I dare to ask why? Every time I look to the sun I found myself in a total dark,Do I dare to ask why ?Every time I felt warm I found myself in a frozen bow,Do I dare to ask why?Every time I felt very happy I found myself in the bottom of sad ,Do I dare to ask why? Evey time I felt safe I found myself in waving in a mouth of a Dragon , Do I dare to ask why? Every time I felt very calm I found myself with thousands of voices and on the top of mad,Do I dare to ask why? Every time I found myself and felt stable I found myself nodded among a lot of men,Do I dare to ask why? Every time I saw the light I found myself in the in the darkest point along,Do I dare to ask why?Every Time I ask people for directions they show me the wrong way to cross,Do I dare to ask why?Every time I felt I smell flowers I found myself with onion rings , Do I dare to ask why? Every time I felt happy ever after I found myself alone miserable with my own cats,Do I dare to ask why?Every time I felt I am safe in bed I found myself in the middle of the night fighting with wolfs,Do I dare to ask why ?

Do I dare to ask whyyyyyyyyyyyyy or spare myself the effort and shut my mouth without any reason to cry , any reason to grave, any reason to stay, any reason to leave, any reason talk, any reason to smile,any reason wake up in the morning feeling that bored. feeling that empty, feeling that hollow feeling that sad , Do I really dare to ask why?

Finally I am backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Hi all I really missed everyone I know that it had been such a long time for me and for you too as well,but really life fulls of surprises and full of events as well, dont know why am I back here but I guess I was a very good friend to my blog and she was very good to me as well, and I missed her too and I just wanted to tell her everything in my life I really dont think there is new events in my life to told,but I will tell her as well what I really have in my life in the last period ,well I left my last job and searched for another one and finally got a new one, well I am not happy in my new job dont know why but really I cant mix with others there without knowing the reason why,but that is a fact there I know it very well,but really I dont have specific reason I guess I became just like oil and vinegar just cant mix with others,that is really a fact I am not that happy with it but it really exist there deep in the dark whole of myself, I guess blogy I returned to you worse then I left but I guess its really something out of my own hands with no reason at all ,but I guess I am a lier,I really had a lot of bad things in the last period I left you.now I am totally a alone I used to have one or two friends but now I dont have at all, I lost them in the crowd of life without knowing the reason why, but its really happened I know that I am really confused dont know the reason or why am I like that in the last days, but I guess its what happening now.

And My Happeness Finally Completeted

Well blogyi and my happiness completed and I knew just now that my partner will leave today to begin her delivery vacation and I will be totally alone from tomorrow, I know that will be really baddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd cause I will deal with all the department by myself and that will be a great responsibility for me, and this really came in a periode full of stress and problems already ,so I guess what a nice surprise for me ,I am really in shock since I heard the news, so I guess will be just a tough period, I am really tensioned and very stressed to deal with such load on my shoulders as I am really loaded with my stuff, and my own personnel problems, so Ii will just pray for myself although I know that I really need to pray a lot for myself cause I have a lot of issues which really need a lot or praying, so its really difficult to deal with that all specially that I am really totally alone in all of that, with no one really to ease all of that or even share it with me, so I really decide to try to keep my own nervous in the fridge as it may be belong but really I am not that calm, but I really try to be that calm in order to deal with this huge amount of problems by myself, and alone too may god really help me to exceed this test alone specially it will be long very long test 3 or 6 months, I guess that will be very long on my nervous, I know that I will totally collapse at the very end, and I will not handle all of that by myself will pass this all in a good shape as I really wish that it could really happens

Have You Ever

Have u ever felt that u don't want to talk cause u have no words that could express what u really feels , have u ever felt that u want to scream with a very load voice but u know that no one will hear ,have u ever felt that cold when all the people r around,have u ever felt that u lost ur smile in the middle of life crowdedness,have u ever felt that u r unsafe in a world full of men around ,have u ever felt that u r full of tears but really can't cry,have u ever felt that u want to be unborn child cause u really know what is waiting for u out there,have u ever felt that u r hungry but really didn't want to eat, having food u like in ur hands but its really tasteless there,have u ever felt that ur back cant be lifted cause its carrying a lot with a heavy weight,have u ever felt that u want to talk but the words are healed makes u mute while u r in a great need to talk,have u ever felt that u r a stranger in ur own home ,have u ever felt sad and blue with no feels u so, or feels what u r really going through,have u ever have a family who care less about u,have u ever have a son who see u just a money collector no less no more,have u ever have no friends around and u r totally a stranger out there,need someone to care or share or do really have ears ,have u ever found someone really there,have ears to listen and have tongue to talk,have u ever have people around with no hearts inside or nothing at all,have u ever felt alone in a dark world black and white no colors at all,have u ever needed to see the sea cause it washes u up but have it ever dirt u more,have u ever felt that u full of anger full sadness,have u ever feels lot of rage toward all, have u ever felt that joy and happiness is weired to have and strange to ask for,have u ever felt nice and silly in one second or more,have u ever hold ur dreams so tight then u let them go,have u ever feels that u r two or more,have u ever felt that ur life is empty and crowded too,have u ever felt u r the only one who dance and cry,have u ever felt that no one there,have u ever felt sweet and rune,happy and sad,white and black sweet in sward in the same second this my life and this the issue I am talking about and discussing too

Very Sad Today

hi blogyi I am really sad today very sad my poor cat is really sick she has a hight temperature all night and shivering too, and she really don't want to eat a thing, I am very worried about her, I don't know,but I really think that she is dieing there, I really hope not cause I really love her very much,I took her to the doctor yesterday and he saw her and really gave her a lot of medicine, and I gave her the medicine with syringe but with no needle in it, but actually she cant swallow the medicine that good, and she is mewing in a very strange voice, as if she is crying or sad of something, I don't know, I really love that cat and hoping from all my heart that she will be well very soon, cause I will be very miserable if she died, cause I really think that she is the only creature that really cares about me, and really dealing with me in a very tender way, as if she really belong to me ,as if she is my own daughter, but I am really in a very bad mood ,cause she is laying there helpless under the blanket, I am really feeling that I am paralyzed seeing her suffering without having a single thing in my hand to do,I am really am helpless exactly like her, but after all i am not the one who is that ill so I am really not that happy with all of that its a weird beginning to a day but what should I do, I have nothing to do have no one to talk to have no one to cry in his arms, have no one to hold me, and tell me that everything will be good and fine but really I am very depressed and I am feeling very sad, I wish I could really vanish or just evaporate from every where, as if I don't exist as if I am some kind of air or some kind of nothing out there, I am really hoping this with all my heart, I really want that but the bad thing really that I couldn't do that even if I tried a lot , its out of my own hand but I am just hoping for that to happen, I just hope that my cat will be just fine, and well soon and also I hope not to lose her cause I don't have no one but her in my whole life, she is the only one who really care about me that much, and also I love seeing her around, so just pray for me that she will well, I am praying for that from the bottom of my heart, and hope that this could happen very soon cause I really need her to stay in my life, I have no one but her may be I am dumb or stupid but that what I am really feeling right now, and filling my heart with bitterness and misery

What A Fighter Am I

hi blogyi and good morning too, I am really tired this morning I just arrived to work, so I decided to talk to you before the day gets loaded as usual, really I missed u that much I had a lot today to do, so I guess it will be very busy day the most recent event in my life is that my mum left her house cause she is really upset from my dad, don't know why but it was really a very strange action from here, so I was really surprised but really pick me one action around us which doesn't make as really surprised, so I am really in shock but anyway she is a grown up person she can do what ever she really wants, so I left saif alone at home with the poor cat, I know that he will really toucher her that much and made her that hipper as usual, I dont know but really I had to do that cause where will he go, he used to stay with my mum, but she left, so I guess its not that good but I will survive, I am really a fighter I know that, and I am really positive of that but I do fight all around me in order to be in its perfect shape, as I really wish it would really be, so its really good to be a fighter in order to be good in your life and to be not just good to be perfect as you really wish that you could be so

Playing With Colors

what I really like the most is playing with color,I do like playing with colors a lot, I do like mixing colors with different degrees, I love it a lot, and also I love matching colors with each other, but really even if I like coloring very well, and like to mash well things together, as if its some kind of portrait as if a picture, and we are seeing it as white and black, as if it empty drawn without any colors and we just need to color it up in beautiful way, in order to show its beauty and show its shape we all know that colors do really show the the inner beauty of any shape, cause its really shade it with a very nice way, cause colors bring activity to any piece of work, it does I am really positive of that very much, I really do love colors and coloring things up, I love it very much so I guess I adore painting after all, but the ironic thing that I can color and paint but really can't draw things up, so I guess its really weired that I cant draw, or I really draw as a kg2 kid but really adore coloring and adore mixing colors together with different degrees, so I am really a painter what a talent I really have, and I really love to do

Just Looking Around

good morning blogyi I know that I am now a days on my blog that much but I really miss talking to u that much, u know why cause u r my only honest friend, I have,wish that I have a lot of friends just like u blogyi honest and true friends, I really wish that very much, cause I am really feeling very lonely out there u know, when I am going home everyday I sit by the window in transportations, I look around me asking myself that among all these people this huge number how come I am just feeling lonely am I crazy, am I? there are a lot of people around me in every area in the street its really full of people then why I don't meet the right people? why do I always meet the wrong ones, why do I really pick them up among all these people ,why do I choose the wrong people usual, why just need to know the reason, just to avoid it in the next time if there is really one next time, I know that my be I am not from the lucky ones whom really meets the right persons in the right time, but at least to stop being that dumb in judging people around me, why am so dumb?is it some kind of gift or is it some kind of a drawback in my own character, why is that I know that its really strange what is happening to me now without any reason, or without any reason made believe that I really deserve that ,so I just look at the people faces searching for someone or may be something I don't know what or who it is? but what I really know that I am really still hoping that I have something good or someone good in my life, as some kind of a change and also I am really done from having a lot of bad people around me in all my whole life, as if that is very normal in my life, I really wish that this will change really soon, I wish it very much from all my heart, but I can''t really do it that easily, that what really made me feels very sad in deed, and also I know that the only thing that made me feels a little bet good is that jasmine soap, I used this morning cause its smell's around me everywhere, and I really love jasmine very much I always dreamed of having a house with a garden all around and full of roses and jasmine and nice colorful flowers around me every where, and with a lake in front and with a nice white spots which is lightening that lake at night with the moon light reflecting its light on that lake, creating very nice view I would pay my life for living out there and having that view in front of me when I wake up everyday that's one of my dreams I really hope that it will come true very much ,cause it will really makes me feels that happy, and I really wish that I will feel that happy one day, I guess that no one deserve to be that unhappy and, also that no one just love to be that miserable, everyone wants to be happy and full of happinessa and joy ,but I

guess not everything the person is dreaming of could really come true .

Thinking Of Quieting Chat

Hi all I am totally ok, except that I had a lot of bad things happing to me nowadays without knowing why but its really some kind of normal, and I am just getting used to them, that 's what I am really thinking of ,but really saif has an exam on sunday and I am really very scared, but I guess its ok,cause he is just a kid and I know that this year is very bad in deed and I know that it will be very long and ugly too so I guess I am very stressed because of saif's exams, but I know that everything will be ok, I really hope that this period really finishes up, I really wish that very much and also I am not that well cause I had a lot of problems really every where, at home and at work and also on the net, I am really feeling very bad from chatting, and I am really thinking very much of quieting chat cause really I had a lot of bad people from over there, and that really made me very upset and very mad too, and very depressed too, a lot so I really decided to stop it for a while in order to calm myself down cause I really need that very much, I need to have some quietness with myself and ,also with my soul and with all things around me, I am really not that happy I had seen enough from a lot of people I really don't know.

Happy 2010

hi again i know that it had been long time since I really wrote anything in you, that cause I had a lot of things to do in the last period of my life , don't know time really passed away, as if it had been just one second or less, but really thanks god that it really passes away, I really moved from my flat again, yes I did without a reason from me, my landlord just wanted me to move out that was the only problem, and I did moved from the six floor to the fourth floor ,but it really didn't matters to me, I felt as if its really the same up there or down here, I really don't know all the same from my point of view without knowing why, anyway I did something new in 2010 as they says you must try to do something new for the new year, wellI did and had done my share for the new year