And My Happeness Finally Completeted

Well blogyi and my happiness completed and I knew just now that my partner will leave today to begin her delivery vacation and I will be totally alone from tomorrow, I know that will be really baddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd cause I will deal with all the department by myself and that will be a great responsibility for me, and this really came in a periode full of stress and problems already ,so I guess what a nice surprise for me ,I am really in shock since I heard the news, so I guess will be just a tough period, I am really tensioned and very stressed to deal with such load on my shoulders as I am really loaded with my stuff, and my own personnel problems, so Ii will just pray for myself although I know that I really need to pray a lot for myself cause I have a lot of issues which really need a lot or praying, so its really difficult to deal with that all specially that I am really totally alone in all of that, with no one really to ease all of that or even share it with me, so I really decide to try to keep my own nervous in the fridge as it may be belong but really I am not that calm, but I really try to be that calm in order to deal with this huge amount of problems by myself, and alone too may god really help me to exceed this test alone specially it will be long very long test 3 or 6 months, I guess that will be very long on my nervous, I know that I will totally collapse at the very end, and I will not handle all of that by myself will pass this all in a good shape as I really wish that it could really happens

Have You Ever

Have u ever felt that u don't want to talk cause u have no words that could express what u really feels , have u ever felt that u want to scream with a very load voice but u know that no one will hear ,have u ever felt that cold when all the people r around,have u ever felt that u lost ur smile in the middle of life crowdedness,have u ever felt that u r unsafe in a world full of men around ,have u ever felt that u r full of tears but really can't cry,have u ever felt that u want to be unborn child cause u really know what is waiting for u out there,have u ever felt that u r hungry but really didn't want to eat, having food u like in ur hands but its really tasteless there,have u ever felt that ur back cant be lifted cause its carrying a lot with a heavy weight,have u ever felt that u want to talk but the words are healed makes u mute while u r in a great need to talk,have u ever felt that u r a stranger in ur own home ,have u ever felt sad and blue with no feels u so, or feels what u r really going through,have u ever have a family who care less about u,have u ever have a son who see u just a money collector no less no more,have u ever have no friends around and u r totally a stranger out there,need someone to care or share or do really have ears ,have u ever found someone really there,have ears to listen and have tongue to talk,have u ever have people around with no hearts inside or nothing at all,have u ever felt alone in a dark world black and white no colors at all,have u ever needed to see the sea cause it washes u up but have it ever dirt u more,have u ever felt that u full of anger full sadness,have u ever feels lot of rage toward all, have u ever felt that joy and happiness is weired to have and strange to ask for,have u ever felt nice and silly in one second or more,have u ever hold ur dreams so tight then u let them go,have u ever feels that u r two or more,have u ever felt that ur life is empty and crowded too,have u ever felt u r the only one who dance and cry,have u ever felt that no one there,have u ever felt sweet and rune,happy and sad,white and black sweet in sward in the same second this my life and this the issue I am talking about and discussing too

Very Sad Today

hi blogyi I am really sad today very sad my poor cat is really sick she has a hight temperature all night and shivering too, and she really don't want to eat a thing, I am very worried about her, I don't know,but I really think that she is dieing there, I really hope not cause I really love her very much,I took her to the doctor yesterday and he saw her and really gave her a lot of medicine, and I gave her the medicine with syringe but with no needle in it, but actually she cant swallow the medicine that good, and she is mewing in a very strange voice, as if she is crying or sad of something, I don't know, I really love that cat and hoping from all my heart that she will be well very soon, cause I will be very miserable if she died, cause I really think that she is the only creature that really cares about me, and really dealing with me in a very tender way, as if she really belong to me ,as if she is my own daughter, but I am really in a very bad mood ,cause she is laying there helpless under the blanket, I am really feeling that I am paralyzed seeing her suffering without having a single thing in my hand to do,I am really am helpless exactly like her, but after all i am not the one who is that ill so I am really not that happy with all of that its a weird beginning to a day but what should I do, I have nothing to do have no one to talk to have no one to cry in his arms, have no one to hold me, and tell me that everything will be good and fine but really I am very depressed and I am feeling very sad, I wish I could really vanish or just evaporate from every where, as if I don't exist as if I am some kind of air or some kind of nothing out there, I am really hoping this with all my heart, I really want that but the bad thing really that I couldn't do that even if I tried a lot , its out of my own hand but I am just hoping for that to happen, I just hope that my cat will be just fine, and well soon and also I hope not to lose her cause I don't have no one but her in my whole life, she is the only one who really care about me that much, and also I love seeing her around, so just pray for me that she will well, I am praying for that from the bottom of my heart, and hope that this could happen very soon cause I really need her to stay in my life, I have no one but her may be I am dumb or stupid but that what I am really feeling right now, and filling my heart with bitterness and misery

What A Fighter Am I

hi blogyi and good morning too, I am really tired this morning I just arrived to work, so I decided to talk to you before the day gets loaded as usual, really I missed u that much I had a lot today to do, so I guess it will be very busy day the most recent event in my life is that my mum left her house cause she is really upset from my dad, don't know why but it was really a very strange action from here, so I was really surprised but really pick me one action around us which doesn't make as really surprised, so I am really in shock but anyway she is a grown up person she can do what ever she really wants, so I left saif alone at home with the poor cat, I know that he will really toucher her that much and made her that hipper as usual, I dont know but really I had to do that cause where will he go, he used to stay with my mum, but she left, so I guess its not that good but I will survive, I am really a fighter I know that, and I am really positive of that but I do fight all around me in order to be in its perfect shape, as I really wish it would really be, so its really good to be a fighter in order to be good in your life and to be not just good to be perfect as you really wish that you could be so

Playing With Colors

what I really like the most is playing with color,I do like playing with colors a lot, I do like mixing colors with different degrees, I love it a lot, and also I love matching colors with each other, but really even if I like coloring very well, and like to mash well things together, as if its some kind of portrait as if a picture, and we are seeing it as white and black, as if it empty drawn without any colors and we just need to color it up in beautiful way, in order to show its beauty and show its shape we all know that colors do really show the the inner beauty of any shape, cause its really shade it with a very nice way, cause colors bring activity to any piece of work, it does I am really positive of that very much, I really do love colors and coloring things up, I love it very much so I guess I adore painting after all, but the ironic thing that I can color and paint but really can't draw things up, so I guess its really weired that I cant draw, or I really draw as a kg2 kid but really adore coloring and adore mixing colors together with different degrees, so I am really a painter what a talent I really have, and I really love to do

Just Looking Around

good morning blogyi I know that I am now a days on my blog that much but I really miss talking to u that much, u know why cause u r my only honest friend, I have,wish that I have a lot of friends just like u blogyi honest and true friends, I really wish that very much, cause I am really feeling very lonely out there u know, when I am going home everyday I sit by the window in transportations, I look around me asking myself that among all these people this huge number how come I am just feeling lonely am I crazy, am I? there are a lot of people around me in every area in the street its really full of people then why I don't meet the right people? why do I always meet the wrong ones, why do I really pick them up among all these people ,why do I choose the wrong people usual, why just need to know the reason, just to avoid it in the next time if there is really one next time, I know that my be I am not from the lucky ones whom really meets the right persons in the right time, but at least to stop being that dumb in judging people around me, why am so dumb?is it some kind of gift or is it some kind of a drawback in my own character, why is that I know that its really strange what is happening to me now without any reason, or without any reason made believe that I really deserve that ,so I just look at the people faces searching for someone or may be something I don't know what or who it is? but what I really know that I am really still hoping that I have something good or someone good in my life, as some kind of a change and also I am really done from having a lot of bad people around me in all my whole life, as if that is very normal in my life, I really wish that this will change really soon, I wish it very much from all my heart, but I can''t really do it that easily, that what really made me feels very sad in deed, and also I know that the only thing that made me feels a little bet good is that jasmine soap, I used this morning cause its smell's around me everywhere, and I really love jasmine very much I always dreamed of having a house with a garden all around and full of roses and jasmine and nice colorful flowers around me every where, and with a lake in front and with a nice white spots which is lightening that lake at night with the moon light reflecting its light on that lake, creating very nice view I would pay my life for living out there and having that view in front of me when I wake up everyday that's one of my dreams I really hope that it will come true very much ,cause it will really makes me feels that happy, and I really wish that I will feel that happy one day, I guess that no one deserve to be that unhappy and, also that no one just love to be that miserable, everyone wants to be happy and full of happinessa and joy ,but I

guess not everything the person is dreaming of could really come true .

Thinking Of Quieting Chat

Hi all I am totally ok, except that I had a lot of bad things happing to me nowadays without knowing why but its really some kind of normal, and I am just getting used to them, that 's what I am really thinking of ,but really saif has an exam on sunday and I am really very scared, but I guess its ok,cause he is just a kid and I know that this year is very bad in deed and I know that it will be very long and ugly too so I guess I am very stressed because of saif's exams, but I know that everything will be ok, I really hope that this period really finishes up, I really wish that very much and also I am not that well cause I had a lot of problems really every where, at home and at work and also on the net, I am really feeling very bad from chatting, and I am really thinking very much of quieting chat cause really I had a lot of bad people from over there, and that really made me very upset and very mad too, and very depressed too, a lot so I really decided to stop it for a while in order to calm myself down cause I really need that very much, I need to have some quietness with myself and ,also with my soul and with all things around me, I am really not that happy I had seen enough from a lot of people I really don't know.

Happy 2010

hi again i know that it had been long time since I really wrote anything in you, that cause I had a lot of things to do in the last period of my life , don't know time really passed away, as if it had been just one second or less, but really thanks god that it really passes away, I really moved from my flat again, yes I did without a reason from me, my landlord just wanted me to move out that was the only problem, and I did moved from the six floor to the fourth floor ,but it really didn't matters to me, I felt as if its really the same up there or down here, I really don't know all the same from my point of view without knowing why, anyway I did something new in 2010 as they says you must try to do something new for the new year, wellI did and had done my share for the new year